The Worth of a Soul

So grateful for a cute hubby who will paint my neglected toenails that I can't see anymore!

33 Weeks (Thanksgiving!)

One. month.

I'm just a tad bit excited!

Laying in bed the other night, Jordan and I started talking about the actual baby delivery. I was so excited I could hardly stand it--it was so fun to see him be so excited too. It's surreal to feel like we are talking about an event that will actually finally occur. Of course I knew up front that the end result of pregnancy is to have a child, but by week 36, it kind of seems like I'm just going to be pregnant forever! Don't get me wrong, it's so cool to feel her kick and watch my tummy move around as she wiggles inside of me, but at this point, I am so anxious to meet her, I keep asking things like, what does she look like? What is she like? Will she have hair when she is born? Will she be bald? Will she look more like Jordan or me? All the important questions :).

I was kneeling in bed the other night and saying my prayers when I peeked open my eyes to see all the beautiful gifts our baby girl had been given at a neighborhood shower that evening. I felt so overwhelmed with love--to know that our baby is loved and to feel the love of so many around us, words can not adequately express how blessed I felt. I found myself whispering out loud as I rubbed my tummy, "You are so, so loved little girl."

As I consider some incredibly heavy burdens that are being carried by some dear friends of my family that have occurred in recent weeks, it makes me sensitive and aware of the true worth of the human soul. Although I have a hard time talking about it, I feel I would be amiss if I did not mention this dear family...

My parent's best friends from college have a son, Joshua Robison (24 years old), who passed away the day after the birth of his first born son, due to an infection in his heart valve which spread to his brain. He was able to hold his little one for about 10 beautiful minutes in this earthly sojourn. My dad texted me after Josh's passing, as my parents were at the hospital with Josh's parents when Josh left this life. My dad's text simply said, "Make sure you live way longer than me." Jordan and I had been out for our date night, and the news hit me so hard it took my breath away. Josh had messaged me on Facebook when he found out Jordan and I were pregnant months ago, because his wife was supposed to be due the same week as us and wanted to share the joy. His wife was thankfully induced early out of necessity for the health of Josh's wife and the baby.

Josh and his new son, Logan Joshua

In all that has occurred, the natural question has been directed toward the Robison Family, "What can I do to help?" Josh's mom, Jodi, beautifully responded, "Many of you ask me what you can do besides pray. First, let me say that prayer and fasting is a powerful tool and it is meeting our most crucial needs. But if you'd like to do something more please: hold your kids and grandkids close and enjoy them with all your heart."

Life is fragile. I've had multiple experiences within my own family that have shown me this, and sometimes, I hate to admit, that I don't like realizing how fragile it can be.

As I sat in church this past Sunday with a heavy heart, I felt fear. I started wondering what could happen to my family or what could go wrong? As I sat listening, President Callister from my ward (former Bountiful Temple president and The Second Quorum of the Seventy) spoke. He is an orator in the truest sense of the word--I've never heard a man speak with such eloquence. To paraphrase, President Callister said that he has rubbed shoulders with numerous LDS General Authorities because of his callings in the church--and he has seen them face trials and every range of emotions within the human spectrum, "But," he said profoundly, "the one emotion they never entertain is fear." I knew President Callister was speaking straight to me.

Although we cannot always predict our Father in Heaven's plan, I know that it truly is a plan of happiness, not fear. That although I don't know why things happen the way they do, I trust that He does. I know with all my heart that He truly is all knowing and all understanding. This week, I've taken Josh's mom's advice, and I have pulled Jordan in a little tighter, and hugged my family a little longer. I've marveled more at the squirming baby in my tummy and taken a moment longer to thank my Father in Heaven for the worth of the human soul.


PS: I don't ever do things like this, but because of my family's close connection with the Robison Family, here is a link to donate to their cause more than worthy cause...

https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/sqm3/josh-erica-s-sub-for-our-savior-fundraiser

Here is a link from KSL and their coverage on the story.

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=28034717&nid=148